I call it as it is


As I am sitting writing this I am currently sat like a pig rolled in a blanket feeling I went too far with the eating today. No diets start in December though do they…? Or in my case at all.

I wanted to write something about this time of year and the expectations vs reality of Christmas. Personally I think the world has gone bloody mad. For me Christmas has never been a gift giving competition although I do prefer to give a gift than receive, however it has always been more of how you spend your day. Fresh morning shower and back into fresh pyjamas. Good food, relaxed with movies is more my kind of vibe. Be at it alone or people who I choose to spend the day with.

A lot has changed in this last year for me. Last year I woke up homeless in a hostel and volunteered with the homeless for the day. This year I am waking up in my own flat with my kitten and spending the day just me and her with lots of food.

What people do not say at this time of year is how down they feel, how they are struggling financially and buying gifts with rent money, that they have no one to spend the day with and feel lonely.

Social media has went barking mad full of parents in competition with each other. Kids not appreciating the gifts they have been given and play with the boxes rather than the toys. Old toys get binned rather than donated to children who do not have much. Kids are out to play on new bikes whilst others are sitting watching from the window wishing there parents never spent there money on drugs and thought about them for a change.

It is all so overwhelming. I decided to do me this year. I have never been one to follow the crowds. I do not like doing things because society tells me that is what I should be doing. I took myself away from the stress of sitting with family members who I do not get on with. That one day of the year you are forced into there company just because it is Christmas. I call bullshite. Bullshit to it all. Do you! Do what makes you happy! Trust me your mental health will thank you for it. This year I feel at such peace and calm without the strict rota that is planned out in front of you with times to eat and wake up.

I woke up when I wanted. Made myself a fry up. Over indulged in general throughout the day. Napped lots. Watched movies. Opened presents. All on my own time. I do not have any decorations up some may say bahh humbug and all that but I just do not feel the need to have any up. Also my little kitten would only rip a tree down or chew the decorations.

I know this time of year is stressful for everyone but please remember you are your own person. You have the right to continue to make your own decisions regardless of what your family thinks. Say no to feeling guilty. Embrace imperfect moments. Give self love generously. It is just one day and tomorrow is a new day. Do not go into debt trying to show people you love them. Do not see friends or family if it will damage your mental health. It is okay to pause. You are allowed to say NO! Your best is totally enough.

I of course love to see families together and children enjoying the day, I am not against how people chose to spend the day. I however just want to point out that how you do things your own way is totally good enough. Go easy on yourself.

New Year

Going into the new year is another time where we all get down, me being one of them. I also find it hits me every year I turn another year older. I look back on the year and think what have I done. What have I achieved. I compare myself to people my age. Feeling I should have done certain things by a certain age or for a new year ahead. I am hard on myself if I have set myself goals and not achieved them. I put far to much pressure on myself and I am often reminded of this. One thing I am going to do is be more kind to myself. Realise that pushing through another day sometimes is good enough.


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