Self love isn’t something we are all able to accept or achieve overnight. Acceptance of our minds, bodies or mental state. All of which I have struggled with along with a lot of other woman AND men around me. Sad isn’t it how our body can get us through life, it can carry a baby for 9 month and give life to this new life. Yet we are still so hard on ourselves. Those stretch marks, that cellulite, those spots, grey hair coming through. There are so many more things in which we point out and dislike about ourselves.
Something I struggled with growing up was self love. I was in an accident when I was 8 years old where a boy threw a slate off a roof through my upper lip. I was always so self conscious growing up as a girl. I couldn’t wait to get my hands on make up and try cover this scar up. Eventually as I grew up I forgot it was even there until someone from time to time would ask about it.
As an adult I have struggled with weight changes from being very slim to gaining weight and struggling to adjust to my body changing. A lot of this weight changes was due to the amount of medication changes I have been on and the side effects that come along with it. I have always been pretty active and once I put my mind to something I would say I’m pretty determined to reach that goal.
It was on a holiday with my friend that I hit the low point about my weight so we decided to weigh ourselves and take photos in a bikini to help us loose the weight. Since then I have worked at it slowly and now I’m in a place where I am happy with my weight. I have accepted that stretch marks wont disappear and that’s also okay.
Acceptance is something I would say I struggle more with because it is not on the outside and visible to the world. It is on the inside etched into my head. Over the years I have always battled with mental health and it comes from a place in my childhood that wasn’t great. Even at 27 years old you would think I have got my shit together but I haven’t.
I’m learning to realise that my life doesn’t have a timeline to match my friends who are married, have kids, in relationships or have degrees. I go at my own pace and always have. I don’t feel there is a rush for me for any of that. I am still learning a lot about myself, what makes me tick, what makes me happy, what do I want to do with my life, what are my dreams, how do I deal with bad and low days, how do I control myself if I get manic. All of these things are a learning curve for me in which at the moment I am receiving the very best of help for.
I think until you accept things about yourself you give off an aura to others that puts you in a vulnerable position. For me I want to get to a place where I accept that until I learn to deal with my good and bad days and triggers that I will have to take medication daily to make me feel semi what normal if normal is even a thing. I want to accept that I might not feel the same as others who have constant good days. I would like to be strong enough not to allow people to use my mental health as a get out for them. Yes would you believe it I have been dumped before for having anxiety!!
What I do know is I have accepted the help I felt brave enough to ask for. I do become very wary of dating and if anything don’t like to even date or allow someone to get close to me because I know my triggers and I know being let down is one of them, but I also realise in life you are going to get let down so it is about learning to deal with these things. I know when I become mentally stronger i’ll be unstoppable and not allow no boy ( I say boy because men wouldn’t treat me the way boys have) to bring me down or make me feel less than in anyway.
I now share a lot of love on Instagram to men and woman who struggle with body image, self love and mental health. If we could all be a little bit kinder to one another the world would be a much better place. So next time you see someone struggle pay them a compliment it can make all the difference. If you happen to be at the gym and see someone struggling to figure out how to use a machine offer them a hand to make them feel less anxious.
So no matter if you are a mummy with tiger prints, remember you carried a beautiful baby and gave life to. We all have flaws life does not come airbrushed so acceptance and kindness are key. Sprinkle that love all around.